DisdaiN:

1. To regard or treat with haughty contempt; despise.
2. To consider or reject as beneath oneself.

"VeiL of DisdaiN" is somewhat a reflection on my life, or how I see my life, and the people around me in relation to myself.  I wrote the following back in the early 2000's.  While I wrote it specifically about myself as well as sarcastically questioning the sincerity of those around me.  It also symbolizes the great struggle between the Flesh which is concerned with Self, and the Spirit which is concerned with all things eternal, leading up to the throne of Christ.  It highlights the wretchedness of all of us - having been stained with the curse of sin - and how unworthy we are of forgiveness, redemption, and salvation.  But yet, it is still there for the taking (although at the time of the writing, I wasn't looking at the bigger picture.  I was merely reflecting on my own shortcomings while displaying a brooding cynicism towards certain people in my life).  It was a very dark period in time for me.  I thought of the name long before I wrote what it means, but here are the words I wrote which brought forth my reconciliation with the name:

"I seek truth. I seek understanding. I seek knowledge. I seek wisdom. I seek love. I seek companionship. I seek friendship. I seek a relationship. I seek God. I seek beauty. I seek romance. I seek intelligence. I seek an escape from this hell. I seek happiness. I seek success. I seek you, but you elude me...."

"I am worthless. I am vain. I am a liar. I am honest. I am selfish. I am greedy. I am disgusting. I am ugly. I am fake to some. I am real to others. I am looked over. I am passed over. I am not counted. I am heard by none. I am underestimated. I am overestimated. I am vile. I am lonely. I am loving. I am not loved. I am hateful. I am resentful. I am remorseful. I am NOT beautiful. I am respectful. I am disrespectful. I am respected by few. I am disrespected by most. I am empty. I have nothing to offer. I am sufficient for no one. I am utter contempt. I am the contempt of others. I am DisdaiN! I shall always be the ~VeiL of DisdaiN~. I cannot hide from this fact or run from this pain. So tell me how it is that you love me?!...."

Okay, but what's the story with "Escape the Empty?"

The story behind "Escape the Empty" is located in the "Writings" section.  However, please continue to read below as well as explore the rest of the website first.  It will clue you into a lot of things in my Writings section, as some of it is very cryptic.

I don't profess to have all the answers, but I DO know the only thing that matters, the only reason we breathe, and that there is a plan for all of our lives.  I'm not perfect, nor do I claim to be.  I screw things up all the time.  I'm in the same boat as everyone else - we're just passengers sailing through the "Sea of Life" which often rages at and against us.  However, it is by Faith through Jesus Christ, the only Son of the living God, that we can be saved!  He's NOT a God of hate, as some would have you believe.  Or perhaps you just happen to be one of those people that feels that way.  The God of Christianity is a God of Love.  He loves ALL of us regardless of our sins (And you think your sins are bad?  Look at the apostle Paul.  He was a murderer but not just ANY murderer.  He SPECIFICALLY set out to murder Christians ONLY!  He was on a mission to stop the spread of Christianity.  God still forgave him.  He then commissioned Paul to spread the news of the love, mercy, forgiveness, and the redemption through salvation that comes with God's grace through His son.  As a matter of fact, through the inspiration of God, Paul wrote a good healthy portion of the New Testament!  A former christian killer turned out to be one of the greatest christians in history!).  Regardless of our appearance.  Regardless of the music we listen to.  Regardless of how fat (or empty) your bank account is (and unfortunately my bank account is usually the latter).  Regardless of ANY of that, God still loves us!

What it all ultimately boils down to is that IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO OUTSIN GOD'S FORGIVENESS!  IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE GOD ANGRY WITH YOU.  The Bible says there is ONLY ONE DAY set aside for judgment, and that day is NOT today, but it's coming soon!  Today is the day of salvation.  Choose today whom you will serve, because today is a good day to die... at least as good as any other day, which we often don't see as a good thing when it happens.

Maybe you're here because we share a similar taste in musical preferences.  Maybe you're here just to listen to my radio show, or to frequent the message board.  Or perhaps you are here, because you are searching for answers.  Whatever the case may be, no matter what you believe, where you are in life, or what your situations and circumstances may be, you landed here for a reason.  

Again, please feel free to have a look around, make yourself at home and stay awhile.  All news and updates to the site will be announced here on this page so stay tuned.  Click here to learn more about me personally.

Take care, God bless!

~VeiL of DisdaiN~